“Besides, everyone is dumb in their own way. So that’s not a secret, it’s just a universal truth.”
Puppycat – Season 1 Episode 11
forgive, forget, and forgo. one of the most difficult questions for me to decide. there are people who i can let go, and some who i seem to come back to. one example is my ex boyfriend. i was able to let him go and just cut him out of my life. but the story of my friendship with owen is someone i feel like i can’t let go of.
i genuinely don’t mean to boost his ego, but we had a solid friendship where we met in middle school, and got closer in high school. we’ve made a lot of good memories with each other and built up a trust that doesn’t come very easily. and when that trust breaks, you wonder what will happen next.
there have been many times where i would call him one of my best friends. i had no shame in telling him any part of my life, good or bad. we had many rough patches, and it usually ended with me calling him out on his actions, him apologizing, and then us being chill again.
personal shit happened, and i was set that i would never be friends with him again. i didn’t even want to be friendly with him, but deep down that wasn’t what i wanted.
it’s been almost a year since i last talked to him in person; but even when i met up with him yesterday, it felt as though no time had passed at all. in the past, i usually forgave and decided to not forget. to other people, i wouldn’t be surprised if they said i gave him too many chances.
the main question i had debated on the night before we talked was what i wanted out of this discussion. did i want to continue this friendship? i knew that we would be in each others lives either way because we have the same friend group. it would be kind of dumb if i just acted like nothing happened and we weren’t chill anymore.
for some reason, my defenses always go down whenever i’m around him. not in a weird way at all, i just think we’ve been through enough shit together that has brought us to have a very close connection. he was one of my best friends at the time and it’s hard to just give up all those years of friendship.
i will admit, i’ve talked my fair share of shit about owen. sure it was out of anger from what i had heard from my friends around me, but that still doesn’t make it okay.
i am perfectly fine with forgiving or forgoing but forgetting is something i won’t do. for this reason, and probably more, i have many grudges on people. every now and then i’ll forget what a certain person has done to me and i think “oh if i forgot then it wasn’t that important.” however, i don’t think i would be able to forget the history owen and i have.
to be completely honest, this has been the first time i’ve thought about this question. to forgive, forget, or forgo. what’s the best option out of the three? i feel like it depends on the situation.
in this situation with owen, i’ve decided to forgive. there has been a good amount of growth that has happened even within the past couple months of texting every now and then. i don’t really know if i’ll regret this decision or not, but all actions take time to show their true colors.
i do have hope for the friendship and we’ll see how it goes. part of me doesn’t want to really believe this, but i genuinely miss the memories i have with him. i miss a lot of things about our friendship that we used to do. and don’t get me wrong, i’m still very thankful that he is one of the main reasons i’m with the love of my life right now.
the main reason is myself but owen contributed a lot to my relationship with julien. can’t wait for 3 years!!!
i’m not even sure if this advice would even be helpful for others or if people will enjoy this entry at all. but a lot of things were put into perspective for me since i had a long debrief with charli and our mutual friend grace. all three of us have been through shit with owen, so i love them so much.
this entry is long as hell so thank you for reading this far!!! i hope next entry is more chill and short…
to forgive, forget, or forgo? forgive…….for now…..
– matty bee 🙂
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